overlooking an offense

(Devotional from Proverbs31.org)

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 (NIV 1984)

What did she mean by that? Why does she always hurt my feelings? Why does she treat me that way? I didn’t realize these words played through my head on a continual basis until my daughter pointed it out.

She ended many of our conversations with, “Why do you get your feelings hurt so easily?” Or, “Mom, you’re so sensitive.”

At first, her words angered me. But over time, I began to hear what she was saying.

For years, I allowed people’s words to hurt my feelings. In turn, I harbored anger for those words. The anger took root. Satan fed the words to me over and over again. I re-played them in my mind. Each time the anger grew deeper roots.

Listening to a sermon in church, I would think, “I wish ______ was here. She really needs to hear this!” Of course, the sermon by-passed my heart all together.

Without realizing it, the words of others consumed my thoughts and focus and stole my time. About this time, God called me to teach a Bible study on the book of Proverbs. I spent days and weeks absorbed in this amazing book of wisdom.

One afternoon, this verse leapt off the page and into my heart, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11). I had a choice. Up until then, I heard people’s words, jumped to a conclusion and chose to be offended.

But through His Word, God gently corrected me. I sensed Him saying that I can choose to look past people’s words and not receive them with an offended heart. I discovered that I needed to LISTEN objectively and ask: What is driving their words? Do they have a valid point? Do they have a deep hurt? Or do they need something I am not giving?

The responsibility was on me to stop the words from taking root in my heart. When I accepted this, my attitude changed. Yes, it took time, and I am a work in progress. But now when someone speaks a hurtful word, I check it before letting it take residence in my mind. I hear the words, recognize my issue, and speak Truth over my heart. I literally say, “It is to my glory to not receive this as an offense.”

Everyone wins because I don’t ruin the rest of the day by pouting, making it all about me, or soaking in self-pity. Each time I make this choice, I sense God is pleased as I honor Him by choosing NOT to be offended.

Heavenly Father, thank You that I am created in Your image. Thank You that I find my identity in You. Thank You that it is only Your Word and Your opinion that matter. Lord, give me Your ears to hear. Help me not to be easily offended and easily angered. Help me lay down any offenses to which I am currently holding. Let me live in the freedom of Your love and forgiveness. Help me live not in my flesh, but supernaturally in the fullness and freshness of Your Spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God’s Story by Wendy Blight

Check out Wendy’s study of the book of Proverbs, All Things Wise and Wonderful: Applying God’s Wisdom in Everyday Life(eBook).

Stop by Wendy’s blog and leave your thoughts about today’s devotional for a chance to win a copy of her newest book coming out in March 2014, Living So That: Making Faith-Filled Choices in the Midst of a Messy Life.

Reflect and Respond:
Read 1 John 1:8-10 and reflect on its meaning in relation to this devotion.

Over the next week, listen to your conversations and note if you are easily offended.

Power Verses:
Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (NIV 1984)

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV 1984)